Keeping Mum

My friend and I have the same first name ; the very same ; spelled the same way.

We went to the States for a holiday.
We knew to be on our best behaviour and not upset the nice security people on entry. We were good. She went first. Nice lady inspects her passport, reads her name, lets her enter the country.

My turn.
She inspects my passport, reads my name. Are you here for a holiday?
Are you two sisters?
Just say no and smile. Not a word more.

Some concern that the final decision about whether or not you get into their country is made by someone who thinks that your mother could have had such a sad lack of imagination.

Baby Doll Pajamas

Pajama Game Shaftesbury Theatre

You have to get over the spelling
It’s up there in big lights for the duration

The show is funny, energetic, colourful, clever.
West End musical just the way you want it.
Fine, talented performances all round.

Claire Machin, you are very funny

After show drinks. A Granny in the company relates story of weird doll her granddaughter (my grandniece) was sent. Scary, unblinking enormous eyes, a haystack of hair and cloven hoof hands. Child will only wave at it from a distance whilst emitting a strangulated ‘allo’ in vibrant cockney. She is in fight or flight mode.Sounds ghastly I say.

I must never buy another doll online / unseen again.

On the move

Edinburgh Airport

Good move jupiteronline
Mis-spell intuition on your advert and you have got our attention
Brilliant tactic


Only the very young can make that creaking gate whiny noise in such a continuous fashion that brings you close to breaking one of the commandments
Thou shalt not kill

Heathrow express

And hello to the blank stare of mass travellers


Lovely European chap. Takes luggage. Name? Initial?
E as in elephant ?
Would have preferred elegant.

Love London


Front row dress circle side seats in the Edinburgh Lyceum wobble

I’m not really complaining
Lovely box office chap readily swapped my upper circle ticket – can’t go there

A play about a weatherman and the D-Day landings. Mmmm.
Struggling with the enthusiasm required to leave cosy home

So glad I overcame the struggle
Fascinating, gripping, energetic story telling

When the storm erupts, you are holding on to your seat

Well those in my row had to

Relatively Close

Went to see Relative Values at the National
First mistake
It’s on at the Harold Pinter Theatre

Heroic taxi driver navigated the bridge and the Strand, depositing us with six minutes to spare
London cabbies are the best

Sweet theatre

I would like to be Patricia Hodge
So elegant, effortless, classy and seemingly not acting

Caroline Quentin has a wonderful face
Tells the whole story in a look or a raised eyebrow
Rory? Well my jury’s out on that one.
He put his all into it but I didn’t feel at ease and that’s a good indication that it doesn’t quite fit

Neither did I feel at ease when gorgeous young American chap appeared on stage
That was a different unease

Set is worthy of mention
Light and airy
Wonderful to be transported back to a different era
Walked back to the correct hotel

Wolf Hall at the Aldwych

Is fabulous
Delivered as only the RSC can deliver

Thomas Cromwell is mesmerising . Anne Boleyn ,forceful, Henry loving and ruthless . And the serene stillness of Jane Seymour promises much for Bring Up The Bodies

Thought we had made a mistake, though

Demographic of audience was terribly posh,chatty, well bred and educated mainly at Oxford or Cambridge a number of years ago.
Finding one’s seat however was tricky for a fair few.

They looked as if they had read the book

Not us
It’s a big book.
This might be too challenging for us

No, it was witty and energetic and wonderfully portrayed

What was challenging, for my neighbour, was turning off her phone.
20 minutes in someone phoned her.
It took her quite some time to find it amongst her day’s shopping.
Then it lit up the whole row.
Then she had to locate the off button.
Then she had to apologise to us all.

She qualified as one of the bodies to be brought up

If you can, go see it, it is worth any peripheral harassment


Be careful now

is a gentle caution

be careful now when you…

Are affixing a screen protector to your mobile,

Carrying a vase

Stepping over the cat.

it’s not the first thing that comes to mind when you see someone, plugged into music, texting their friend and about to step out in front of a 55 tonne silent killing machine. An Edinburgh tram.

But that’s the hashtag…